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Widowed dad should not take girlfriend on annual father-daughter trip, Reddit users insist
A Reddit user whose girlfriend objected to being left out of his annual father-daughter trip is completely right to exclude her, said other Reddit users and experts who spoke to Fox News Digital.
"AITA for not booking tickets for my [girlfriend] to come on holiday with me and my daughter?" asked Reddit user "Acrobatic-Agent-6532" in a Monday, April 29, post on Reddit's "Am I the A--hole" (AITA) subreddit.
In the post, the man revealed that his girlfriend was extremely upset with him for planning his annual vacation with his 16-year-old daughter — something he's done every year since she was born.
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"We’ve carried on the tradition since her mother died as a way to remember her (we go to the same place during the same two weeks)," he wrote.
Last year, Acrobatic-Agent-6532 said his girlfriend was "completely fine" about the trip. "She said she had no issue with it just being me and my daughter and it would be fine again in the future."
This year, however, things were different.
After he told the girlfriend he'd booked the trip, "she completely freaked out, saying that I was entitled and selfish for not taking her as well."
The man detailed, "I’ve tried to explain to her that this is a very personal event for me and my daughter, but she doesn’t seem to listen and keeps on telling me to book her tickets as well."
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He continued, "I’ve talked to my daughter about it, and she’s said she would rather it be just us two."
Acrobatic-Agent-6532 said he regularly goes on vacations with the two of them — and that he does not use all of his time off on his daughter.
"Was I wrong for not booking tickets for my [girlfriend]?" he asked. "Should I book her tickets as well?"
In an email to Fox News Digital, the Reddit poster said he would not be booking his girlfriend a ticket for the trip.
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A psychiatrist and social worker told Fox News Digital that it is completely reasonable for Acrobatic-Agent-6532 to want to continue an important tradition with his daughter — and that the trouble he's going through right now could be a sign of a deeper issue with his relationship.
"The dad has clearly stated the purpose of this trip with his daughter to his current girlfriend, which seems more than appropriate not to include her. Honoring the role of her mother, who has passed away, is very personal and healing for them both," Lisa Pion-Berlin, ACSW, of California, told Fox News Digital.
Pion-Berlin is CEO of Parents Anonymous, a self-help organization that aims to prevent child abuse.
These trips do not lessen or diminish the relationship between Acrobatic-Agent-6532 and his girlfriend, said Pion-Berlin.
The girlfriend's "negative reaction this year versus previously should be explored so that the air can be cleared, and everyone can understand each other's feelings."
"As a parent, [Acrobatic-Agent-6532] has defined what he needs to support his daughter and that priority is separate from their personal relationship and will not interfere with her developing a relationship with the daughter if this is important to each of them," she also said.
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Dr. Carole Lieberman, a California-based psychiatrist, told Fox News Digital that Acrobatic-Agent-6532 would be wrong to stop his annual tradition — and that his relationship with his girlfriend might be over.
"You may not realize it now, but this father-daughter time is so important to her mental health and is what will keep your daughter away from ‘bad boys’ in the future," said Lieberman, the author of "Bad Girls: Why Men Love Them & How Good Girls Can Learn Their Secrets"
By taking his daughter on these trips, the father is "modeling what a loving relationship should be by keeping her mother ‘alive’ during these times."
And while Acrobatic-Agent-6532 is upset by his girlfriend's insistence on joining the trip, Lieberman said that this should be viewed positively.
"It has opened your eyes to the true character of your girlfriend," said Lieberman.
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Reddit users largely agreed that it was completely fine for Acrobatic-Agent-6532 to have his annual trip with his daughter.
On the AITA subreddit, people can reply to posts and indicate the poster is "NTA" ("Not the A--hole"), "YTA" ("You're the A--hole"), "NAH" ("No A--holes Here") or "ESH" ("Everyone Sucks Here").
Users can "upvote" responses they think are helpful and "downvote" ones that are not.
"Your [girlfriend] is off her rocker," said Reddit user "keephopealive4you" in the top-upvoted comment, addressing the comments directly to the father.
"She is the only entitled and selfish person here! She has already gotten vacations from you. This is a special time for you and your daughter … Your [girlfriend] needs to back off."
Said a user named "Friendlily," "You are her only parent left and I'm sure she needs this as much as or more than you."
The person added that these trips will likely change in the future as the daughter grows up and moves out of the house.
"You also need to take this as the red flag it is with your [girlfriend] and have some serious conversations with her," said the same commenter.
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